Monday, September 26, 2011

How to date a Swede

This post is written for fun about Swedish girls and does not apply to everyone. I do not write about how to date a Swedish guy, because I honestly have no idea how to. I tend to go for non-Swedish guys, lol.

So, as you all know, all Swedes are amazing and everybody wants to date them... ok, not really (although we do have a tribute song about us, by Mikey Mic, called "Swedish girls"). But if you do have a Swedish exchange student at school or maybe a Swede just moved to the neighborhood, and you're just dying to take her out, there are a few things you should know. So now people, I bring to you...


Oh yeah, I just had to add an ego pic in there! Woohoooo!

So let's begin.

If you're one of those say-whatever's-on-your-mind-people, who simply start flirting by saying "hey hot stuff", etc., I can tell you straight away that you're going to fail miserably (well unless she's at a nightclub - drunk). The best way to start a conversation is to talk about something you have in common. If you go to school together, talk about that very interesting lecture, or that horrible teacher who spits when he talks. If she's your neighbor, ask what she thinks of the neighborhood. If she's a complete stranger, but you just happen to know she's Swedish, well then you have to improvise.

Do not start a conversation about something completely random. In Sweden we have this unwritten social rule that says you cannot talk to strangers as if they were your friends. You always have to have something in common.

The conversation:
You have to know that Swedes are very openminded, but have strong opinions. For your first real conversation you should probably not talk about politics, religion, or anything else you will presumably disagree on (the majority of Swedes are atheists/agnostics). So basically, if you can't handle a strong-minded woman, don't even bother dating a Swede.

If you want to talk about Sweden, you better know quite a lot to impress her, or else you will most likely look stupid in her eyes (because in our eyes everyone should know stuff about our country!). Most Swedes are very patriotic, and proud to be Swedish. From experience, if you're American, for the love of God - do not confuse Sweden with Switzerland! Also, do not compare Swedish to German. No explanation needed :)

If you're not the smartest person alive, don't show it! Talk about things you are comfortable with and don't try to show off if you're not sure of what you're saying. Swedes are well-educated and do not care for ignorant people who don't know anything about the rest of the world.

Keeping in touch:
Once you have found that pretty Swede who's also an interesting conversationer, you will want to have her phone number to keep in touch. It doesn't matter if your first meeting was a date or not, never wait three days to contact her! You will have to contact her the next day - or even the same evening! Swedes love attention and affection, and you will need to show her that.

You probaly shouldn't call her, but text her instead. For some reason Swedes prefer texting over calling, maybe because it's faster, and maybe because it's not as personal (yes, Swedes don't easily open up to strangers/new people). Although you should not be too intrusive and in her face, she will need space. You should show interest, but also let her contact you sometimes.

What to do for your date:
Sweden does not have a dating culture, and therefore it might seem weird to some to go to dinner with a stranger, or someone you don't really know. Something we do like though, is going for fika. Fika is basically going to a café, for coffee and/or pastry. If you want to totally charm her, ask: "Vill du (ta en) fika?" ("Do you want to fika?"), and I promise you she will smile/laugh, in a good way... if you get it right, that is.

How to dress and behave:
If you're going on a date with the girl, there are some things you will need to know: Swedes are a bunch of fashionistas, even the men. You will need to dress up and know what's in right now. I myself, like many other women, am not a big fan of the male fashion addicts, but you will still need to dress well for your date with the wonderful Swedish girl. Do not look like you just came from a wedding, and especially not like you're wearing the outfit you wore for the gamer night you had with your friends - last weekend. Balance the casual and formal style, and you are bound to succeed.

Obviously you should be well behaved, but that's something you should always be, not just on dates. Gentlemen are always appreciated, but with Swedes they are not just appreciated, they are also expected. You should offer to pay for dinner (or whatever you decided to do for your date/meeting). Even if she says it's ok and she can pay it herself, do not let her! Yes, we are independent women, but we do like being treated to dinner, like everyone else.

You probably shouldn't comment on her accent - we are Swedish (English [if that's what you're speaking] is not our native language) and we know we have an accent, no need to remind us! Sometimes even things like "I love your accent!" or "your accent is so cute!" can be annoying to hear. But only somtimes.

I'm sure all of you guys are wondering "is it ok to kiss on the first date?", and sure it is! Go for it! Some people, like myself, think it shows that the guys isn't really serious in getting to know the girl, but others don't care. So if it's worth it for you, take a chance and go for it.

Focus on what you have in common when starting a conversation, and don't talk about things like religion, unless you are aware of her opinions. Dress well, behave well, be funny, be nice, and make sure to text her! Always treat her like the strong woman she is, and please, know your stuff about Sweden!

Good luck! ;)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

That picture is great! You should post it without the text!