Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Barbie doll and action man

Today I felt inspired by Barbie, so I'm wearing a neon pink lipstick + a light pink lipgloss to get those Barbie pink lips. I also straightened my hair (need to stop doing that), but kept it a bit messy. I was, of course, wearing a babypink top as well, but you can't tell from the picture. :)

Moreover, I wanted to talk about something we discussed in high school before; how girls are raised to be girls, and boys are raised to be boys. Are the girls naturally feminine and the boys masculine, or are we affected by society and its norms and standards? 

Obviously we do get affected. Girls get Barbie dolls at a very young age, and boys are encouraged to play with cars or action man. Girls are taught to be ladylike and quiet, while boys learn that "only little girls cry and whine". Girls are dressed in pink, and boys in blue (or other, non "girly" colors). Skipping rope is for girls, and only boys are allowed to play soccer during lunch break at school.

It is, of course, very unfair to separate the genders that early in life, to teach them to behave differently, and that "boys are like this, and girls are like that". But, can it also be something positive?

In my opinion, boys should be masculine, and girls should be feminine. Women are attracted to manly/macho men, and men prefer feminine women. I wouldn't want guys to spend hours by the mirror getting ready, or by the closet having a breakdown because they can't find a cute enough outfit. I like men who don't give a shit (not saying they should look like shit, lol), and who let me be the girl.
     Of course men should have feelings, they just shouldn't show them as easily and often as women do. Some women like men who show their emotions, but in general, women like men to be a rock, someone they can rely on when they're emotional themselves. Men need to be strong and protective, so that women feel safe. - this would be impossible with a guy who cries all the time (and to be honest, I think tears are very unattractive in a guy - unless he has a very good reason to cry).

I know, I know, there are people out there who hate people like me, because I encourage femininity and masculinity (even though I still am a feminist). The differences between men and women are what keep us attracted to each other. If men and women behaved alike, the world would be way too confusing. I'm not saying you should encourage things like for girls to be quiet and boys to speak up - everyone should speak up! but there are other things that are necessarily in order to keep us being interested in one another, right?

According to society, girls should be like Barbie, and boys like action man. I don't think that's such a bad thing - if you want to be like that. I love being blonde like Barbie, and I like my man to be masculine like action man, haha. Is it society's fault that I think like this? Or is it just me? I don't know, but it doesn't really matter who influenced me, when I'm happy with my opinions. I love feeling feminine, and I wouldn't be attracted to a guy who does too.

Lastly, I have to say that I still love that there are feminine guys and tomboys out there as well. Everyone should act and look like they want to, it keeps the world even more interesting.


BeXie said...

I agree! :) I love being a girl lol, love all the makeup and hair and clothes and the fact that we can be protected by guys~ I like my boyfriend to feel manly, though I like him to care about how he looks, and he does :)

나니 said...

I completely disagree with probably 80% of what you said. I don't think masculinity and femininity has anything to do with what attracts us to each other.. it's all about sexuality and individual taste. I'd never fall for a super masculine person (mostly because I'm gay, lol), because it's just not attractive to me. Dividing the genders up in 'what's correct for girls' and 'what's correct for boys' is just stupid and a waste of time. Sexuality is fluent and humanity should be too.. I'm a tomboy by heart - yes I love makeup from time to other, but I don't wear it on a regular basis, because I'm too lazy and just don't bother. I'm not feminine in character at all and I was never pressured to be 'Barbie-like' EVER. I climbed trees, played tigers and lions with my guy friends (when I played with girls I was always the boy anyway -__-") and played with cars and action men with my baby brother.. Yes, I played with Barbies and Polly Pockets too, but that never defined my personality at all.

Personality is affected by so many different factors - and gender roles really shouldn't be one of them if you ask me. With new sexualities arising everywhere, it's just stupid (for me) to define people based on what gender they are. That would mean that bigender and genderqueers either have no personalities at all or that they have TWO? Nah, I don't buy that. Gender roles are useless and insignificant. Personality is what's important (and boobies, lol). The rest doesn't really matter.. unless you're hot. LOL

Valentin12 said...

Just to make sure everyone got the message... I'm masculine, I'm protective, I'm good looking, I NEVER cry, I AM ACTIONMAN! xD That was really the basics of what my lovely girlfriend Tilde was trying to say =D

Tirin said...

나니: Ah of course personality is what's important, I didn't mean it like that! >_< but for me it's very important that the guy is manly, or else I don't find him attractive! that's what i was trying to say!

I know many girls and guys disagree with me on this, but for me it's important with femininity and masculinity (when it comes to attraction), although i of course accept people either way :)

I don't think girls should be raised to be like Barbie, i think they should be raised to be themselves, and not forced to follow the norms of society. but if they DO end up like Barbie, that's not always a bad thing xD

Fern Li said...

Well Barbie is attracted to Ken who is like borderline gay. LOL!
But I understand in the general sense of what youre saying. xD
In the end it really depends on the person who they are attracted to~
I don't really mind if my boy spends hours on himself trying to look good because at least I don't have to make him wait for me to look good! XD
And guys can't really be much of a romantic without being a tiny bit girly.
As Vivienne Westwood once said: "It is not possible for a man to be elegant without a touch of femininity."

And of course you on the other hand like guys who are the epitome of manliness.

eimi.desu said...

I believe that it is this kind of inherent thinking that creates the kind of gender bias that we have today.

Women today, in spite of many of the feats we've overcome, still face a tremendous amount of inferiority and inequality. Even though more of us graduate from college and are entering the workforce far quicker than men, we still only make 70% of the yearly income that men make.

While we are biologically different and should be considered strong in our own right, I believe forcing people into medieval gender roles will only regress our gender in this world.

By affirming that women should be feminine, it almost suggests that we are nothing more than potential trophy wives, something that asserts the only way for us to be important is for us to be "femininely" attractive. That is, thought of only for the extent of our outer appearance and nothing for our intellectual possibilities.

Tirin said...

Well I don't think that being feminine is the same as being weak. You can have a very strong personality and/or strong opinions/be very outspoken, yet be extremely feminine. I would NEVER say that women being women equals staying at home with kids and cooking, or whatever. That's not femininity, that's just wrong! The world should be equal, but there are still differences between the two genders that are GOOD. Women shouldn't be weak and in need of rescue from a man - women are STRONG (we're the ones who give birth goddamn it! lol)! So we need to show them that, and never let anyone walk all over us.

Being feminine isn't a disadvantage, at least it shouldn't be.

Okashi Yummy said...

I totally agree with you, girls should be feminine and guys masculine.

blu said...

"In my opinion, boys should be masculine, and girls should be feminine. Women are attracted to manly/macho men, and men prefer feminine women." really? i've always thought that people should be themselves not what others expect. It doesn't matter a shit if some guy wants to wear make-up or a girl doesn't. the people matters. but i understand that maybe you wanna be the princess who is only good at spending time in front of the mirror and "the man" will do the rest. go to work and gives you the money that you can spend even more time in front of the mirror! and btw i think the barbies are the worst thing a little girl can get. it serously isn't any kind of rolemodel and that's why we have anorexia. ok thanks bye♥ (this isn't hatefull comment bitch)

Tirin said...

blu: maybe you should learn to read the whole text before you make such comments? If you would have read everything you would see that i LOVE that people look however they want and i WANT people to be themselves (I FUCKING ALWAYS TALK ABOUT ALWAYS STAYING TRUE TO YOURSELF!!!!). I just said that I find feminine girls pretty and I'm attracted to masculine men, and this is how nature made us!! Lots of estrogen = attracts males. lots of testosteron = attracts females. I didn't make it up.

And it's not my problem if you look like a man and are attracted to men with makeup. That's your choice, and good for you! I couldn't care less.

Barbie is never a ROLEMODEL for a girl (wtf how can a THING be a rolemodel? makes no sense). The rolemodels in a young girl's life are her mother and other people close to her in life, perhaps even an artist or actress. Not even children are stupid enough to LOOK UP TO a doll. Now wanting to look like Barbie when you're an adult is a whole other thing. It's your own goddamn choice, and whether you like it or not, there are people who do. Should be none of your business.

And no, the reason there is anorexia has nothing to do with Barbie, she's not even that skinny!! She just has a huge head and weird feet. The reason anorexia exists is because it's a mental disease, and there no "cure" for such a disease before they actually happen.

And this isn't a hateful comment either, fucking idiot. :)