Wednesday, April 20, 2011

To love yourself

Me, 15 years old (back in my rock-chick days with dyed hair and everything, haha)
This blog post will be a bit more personal, sorta like the one i did about imperfections (read it here). I want to talk about confidence and the importance of loving yourself. I think it's very important to talk about such things because so many people these days are being bullied or just have really low self-esteem. It's sad because they're probably wonderful people. You can change that though, if you just change your attitude and the way you look at life in general.

Some people think I'm so overly confident that I'm arrogant or conceited, which is weird to me because all of this confidence started after high school! I mean I know I've called myself awesome and stuff before that (lol), but I've been pretty insecure. In school I didn't really wear all the clothes I wanted because of the way people look at you when you stand out - or even worse; when you think that you matter. Like I started wearing high heels my last year of high school because before that I didn't really dare to, hahaha. That sounds so weird now, but that's how it was.

I was confident in 6th grade, when I was 12. Then I thought I was pretty and cool. We were the cool girls, and we had older friends (yeah that was very important, haha), but when I started junior high I became a bit shy, for some reason. And it sorta killed my confidence when I stopped hanging out with my former best friends. But it did teach me that I'm the only person who will always be there for me, and that whatever I do, I need to always stay true to myself.

At my lowest point (of self-esteem), when someone said I was pretty I used to think they were joking or making fun of me. That's so sad to think about... Even though I did have many guys wanting to date me, I never thought of myself as good looking, because many of the guys were, according to my "friends", losers or just not cool enough. Who are they to judge? I always thought of myself as the ugliest in our group. I somehow refused to take in compliments, and only focused on the negativity. Now, many years later, I know I'm pretty. Everyone's pretty in their own way! If you have a great personality but just ok-looking (according to people's standards), that makes you a lot more beautiful than gorgeous people who have the wrong attitude and a bad personality.

I think I've come a long way and it's all about the people you surround yourself with, and the person you choose to be. Having friends who always support you, and loving the person you are, even with the flaws, that's what's important. I've also learned that when your friends always complain about you and try to change you, it's better not to have any friends at all. If they can't like me for who I am, well then that's their loss. I'm not going to change myself and live a miserable life just to please them. I am me, and I love the way I am. I don't regret all the bad things I've had to go through in the past because I didn't want to change myself to fit in, I'm simply proud of how I managed to do it.

So all those ideas of me being conceited are just people not understanding the importance of loving yourself. - and I feel bad for them. If you don't love yourself you can never be happy, no matter how many great people you have in your life. You can't depend on others to tell you what to do or how to act. To live life with no regrets is to always do everything your way.


BeXie said...

This is such a good post - and it's so so true. I'm sure people think I'm arrogant too, but I'm confident in myself and who I am, and I think some people might not be able to accept that, which is sad =/

Tirin said...

i'm glad you agree! i think it's stupid you can't love yourself without having people complaining about it! >_<

ciel~bunny chan said...

so truee!!
I dont have much confidence as i have anxiety its real hard to even walk about by myself unless i have music on me.

i used to think people was jokiing when they say im this amazing person to me, or sites ex ;_;
but u know what i am pretty! <3
i have to believe in me :3
thankyou this post helped me =]

Tirin said...

Aww i'm glad it helped! i used to hate walking alone as well, as if people were staring at me >_< i'm very proud of myself for getting over all this! always believe in yourself!<3

Anonymous said...

I was the exact same way. I was incredibly confident in who I was when I was in middle school and then I got into high school and became really self conscious it wasn't until high school that I started to become really self conscious. I had two best friends obsessed with their weight and one was really tall and naturally just thin but she always wanted to be skinnier. I lost all of my "cool group" friends and soon after actually developed an eating disorder. I am still trying to fully get over it but it is hard to have confidence in yourself when you feel like everyone else around you is judging you. It is nice to see someone as amazing as you write something like this.