Saturday, June 19, 2010

Confidence

So I was watching TV this morning, and I came to think of my own life. I used to have really low self-esteem when I was younger. I actually disliked my name a lot (I have no idea why, haha), and my hair!! It wasn't curly back then, but it wasn't straight either, it just was... I used to envy my friends, because I felt like they were so much prettier than me, and if someone told me I was pretty, I wondered if they meant it or if they were making fun of me. That's how bad it was! It's crazy!!

I think that in order to be confident you need to know yourself very well, and to do that you have to go through certain things. Us girls, we always make everything into a competition, we want to be the cutest/smartest/coolest one of all our friends, and we always compare ourselves to them. So I did that, and well... let's just say it didn't help much. Back then I always tried to fit in with everyone to make them like me, but I'm so different now. I don't try to fit in, I'm just being myself, and if others don't like it - screw them!!

So I was a really mean girl when I was younger. My friends and I said bad things about all the other girls and made fun of them, etc. It helped us to feel good about ourselves.. or did it really? When I stopped hanging out with the "popular" girls, I actually made friends with the girls we had been making fun of, and found out that they weren't weird at all. They were actually way smarter and more confident in themselves than we tried to tell ourselves that we were.

So a couple of years ago (well okay, up until junior high) I kinda wished that I could look like my friends, because I felt that they were really pretty and that I wasn't. Today when I look at the same people, I almost feel sorry for them because they're sorta stuck in their own little world, even though they've changed a lot (they don't seem so confident anymore), but there's still that look in their eyes saying "I'm better than you". Why? What makes you so much better?? When I look at them and compare myself to them, the first sentence that comes to my mind is "damn, I really am pretty". So in your face, mean girls!!

Peace and love,
xoxo ミ☆

2 comments:

Juliennnnnnn said...

It's totally right ;)

Tilde rules !

Cati said...

yeaaah!! haha.. :'D